Addiction is a hopeless state of body and mind in which feelings of desperation affect every area of our lives. Through the recovery process, our bodies and our minds begin to heal, and soon, the world starts to change. When I first began recovery I was offered a vision for what my life might look [...]
A picture that I love shows two scenes: one of Heaven and one of Hell. In Hell, everyone is seated at a table with grossly elongated spoons that they simply cannot fit into their mouths. In Heaven, everyone is seated at a very similar table with the same exact elongated spoons. The only difference? They [...]
Are men naturally self-centered? Sure. Are women? Yes, though they may express it differently. What does it even mean to be self-centered? Mostly, it seems to mean that we are human. We are more worried about ourselves than others. We focus more on our problems – real and imagined – and any of the drama [...]
To say that many men who are addicted to alcohol and other drugs suffer from low self-esteem is an understatement. But what does that really mean? We talk about the egomaniac with the inferiority complex – a term that many men in recovery seem to identify with. This is the idea that at the same [...]
The hallmark of Twelve-Step recovery is sharing our experience, strength, and hope. This, of course, implies that you have something worth sharing. Regardless of how I acted and how much people complimented me on my talent and skills, I often felt as though I had little to nothing to offer. So, when I found myself [...]
I was seven years old standing in the basement telling my father I wished I had never been born. What can be going on in a child’s life that these words would come out of his mouth at such a young age? While it took me many more years to name it, growing up in [...]
What man does not want to make peace with his past?
How many of us enter recovery with a deep feeling of shame for how we have lived?
How many of us are confused about what we have done and what that might mean about who we are?
In recovery, you have the incredible opportunity to connect with [...]
Once, at a Fourth of July concert, the singer asked if anyone in the crowd knew freedom and how valuable it truly is. My first reaction was that I didn’t. Then, I realized I did have an appreciation of freedom – because I knew the bondage having been chained to my addiction. As I thought [...]
Promise #1 : If we are painstaking about this phase of our development we will be amazed before we are halfway through.
When you are painstaking, or careful, it means that through the pain, disappointment, and suffering caused by reining in your ego, you do not give up. You pick up the phone instead of the [...]
Before the authors of the book share the 9th Step Promises with us, there is an important declaration: As God’s children we stand on our feet; we don’t crawl before anyone. I have always believed the Promises begin with this sentence. Why? Because in our sobriety men are vulnerable to hiding the shame of our [...]
