Helping Men Recover
Drawing from the pioneering work by Dr. Stephanie Covington, the authors provide the first comprehensive and holistic look at men’s needs and issues in recovery from addictions. The purpose of this curriculum, which is a package consisting of a Facilitator Guide and a Participant Journal, is to offer a curriculum-based approach to addressing men’s issues in addiction treatment and recovery. Current treatment models and theories fail to adequately consider the relational needs of men; a clear understanding of the impact of the socialization process on men; fall short of adequately addressing the impact of abuse and trauma that is so strongly linked with addiction and the life of the male addict; often ignore any social context and/or the consequences of political, social, and economic power; and provide little direction in helping men to establish a healthy sense of self outside of prevailing masculine scripts. The curriculum will also incorporate trauma-informed practices to help facilitators and clients comprehend and appreciate the pervasive nature and impact of trauma. Clients and treatment providers will understand trauma as a defining and organizing experience that forms a recovering person’s sense of self and others.
The curriculum for Helping Men Recover is contained in the Facilitators’ Guide and contains a structured step-by-step program for working with men’s treatment issues while addressing the areas of concern that continue to challenge men long into their recovery. The Participant Journal is designed to function as a tool to aid in the facilitation of the curriculum and to enrich the personal experience of the men who are attending the group.
This curriculum will help men find the words to speak about their experiences as men and offer them support and inspiration in their recovery. It will give men confidence that they are not alone in the questions they have about their masculinity and who they are as men. The authors are convinced: men’s chances of achieving long-term recovery will improve dramatically when men have a safe place where they can talk about their various questions, concerns, challenges, and joys of being men trying to live in this world .
Last night my fiance hit “rock bottom” and this morning (finally) admitted to me that he has a drinking problem. He apologized to me for the first time for drinking too much. I think that he feels he is alone and he is afraid his friends will not understand. I know that he wants to stop drinking but says he is scared to stop drinking because he knows it is going to be a challenge. My fiance also suffers from depression and can’t get rid of the negative thoughts in his head, they just linger. He thinks that drinking numbs his negative thoughts. I don’t think that is a very healthy way to deal with his issues. I told him this morning that next time he tells me about his issues I want him to be sober. I really want him to tell me what is stressing him out when he is being himself. When he drinks I see a completely different side of him. He loses the softness in his eyes and it is devastating. Many times he has told me that it does not affect me because when he drinks he is alone. Well the reality is that it does effect me because I have to listen to the beer cans open one after another and after every beer he crushes the cans. The sound of it now makes me cringe. I am always hopeful that he will stop after the first one and then after the second one, but then become devastated when he cracks open one can one after the other and quickly turns in to at least five. I also have to deal with the beer/liquor smell on his breath every night when he leans in for a kiss. While he was under the influence last night hitting rock bottom he admitted to all of his negative thoughts. I just don’t understand why he never told me about them while he was sober. This morning he woke up and tried to act like nothing happened last night. But being the strong woman that I am I confronted him about it. I think it was a real wake up call because I warned him that I will not live with this and that I don’t have to live with this. It was not a threat, it was me telling him that I cannot call this my home when he makes the choice to have too many beers. He knew what he did last night was wrong. He is my soul mate and I will do anything for him, however I am not going to live with this forever. My fiance and I have a long interesting past (too long of a story to write on this comment that is already long enough), but the point is I waited seven long years to get a second chance with him and will not leave his side yet as long as he is willing to recover.
Anyways, today I took a personal day from work as I needed to just think about what happened last night. I really want to fix my love, but feel so helpless. I am not a huge tv watcher, but just happened to turn on the tv while I searched the web to find help for my lover. Channel 11 just happened to be on and Dan Griffin was being interviewed about his book. I really see this as a sign. I am going to purchase the book today and give it to my fiance and hope he will read it and begin his road to recovery. Wish me luck!
That is awesome news – though it may not feel good at least now the truth is out in the open and acknowledged by both of you. The key is to support him without taking care of him to the extent that he does not truly face the consequences of his behavior. If you have not tried Al-Anon I strongly encourage it as it is a wonderful program…always put your oxygen mask on first…best wishes….