Most of us, men as well as women, feel confusion about sex and our sexuality, but this episode focuses solely on women’s particular struggles. Our guest Kit Maloney talks to Dan about the ways in which women are encouraged by our culture to disconnect from their bodies, to avoid exploring about their own sexual pleasure, and to look outwardly toward men and the media for cues on what they should and should not want sexually, rather than relying on her own inner values and desires.

So what can men do with this information? How can men—especially straight men—support women in this journey? Kit shares some great tips on how men can move beyond their own fears and insecurities about female pleasure, and support women in their journey to discover their authentic sexual selves.

Kit also offers women a special opportunity to take The Pleasure Pledge, in which they commit to exploring their own sexual pleasure, on their own terms, every day in February, capitalizing on a month that already celebrates love, romance, and healthy sexuality at its best.

Practical and Tactical Tips

1. Know that women’s masturbation and solo sex practice does not have anything to do with their masculinity. She’s not trying to replace you. She’s learning more about who she is and what works for her sexually, and as long as you’re supportive, is probably looking forward to sharing that newfound knowledge with you.

2. Honor how important it is for your partner to know her body and how to turn herself on. This takes a ton of pressure off of you and makes your own ability to turn her on that much more delightful.

3. When we truly honor women’s sexual pleasure, we release ourselves from so much confusion around consent.

About Our Guest

For the last two decades, Kit Murray Maloney has been an activist, academic, and entrepreneur committed to channelling her passion for gender equity into a celebration of women’s sexual pleasure. She’s earned a Masters degree in Gender and Social Policy from the London School of Economics; has been featured in Marie Claire and Glamour magazines, and is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post. She launched her multi-media site O’actually to create a more open dialogue around the existing taboo and yet the ultimate importance of women’s self-pleasure and to promote creative, beautiful, and HOT erotic works made by women for women. Because genuine female orgasms heal and better the world.

Mentioned In This Episode

O Actually
The Pleasure Pledge
A Billion Wicked Thoughts (book)

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