Everyone is interested in how men and women are getting along these days. What if there were something other than “we’re from different planets” model? Once a month my good friend, Dr. Allen Berger, and I take over the Man Rules podcast to talk about our forthcoming book, What Men Would Tell You If They Weren’t Too Busy Watching TV.

This month Allen and I start our Man Rules discussion where we are going to discuss each of the 10 Man Rules that we unpack at length in the book. The first one is the Man Rule that is most often the first one named when I have the audience identify the Man Rules themselves: Don’t Cry.

This powerful Rule is about much more than simply not crying. It is one of the mega rules because so many of the other rules are built into it: don’t show feelings, don’t be vulnerable, don’t be weak, and many more.

How does it show up in your relationship? How does it show up in your life? The Water is very deep with this Rule.

Practical and Tactical

1. If you’re having difficulty crying, then be accepting of that. Then say this: “I am not going to cry because…” Get in touch with what you are doing to stop yourself from crying.
2. If you’re uncomfortable with someone else’s crying then ask yourself why that is. “I am uncomfortable with your/their crying because…” Find the answers to that question.
3. Write a letter or journal entry. Find the words that most accurately reflect your experiences in the moment. Uncensored.

The post What Men Would Tell You… About Crying appeared first on Dan Griffin.

It’s been said that men are women are from totally different planets. All of the struggles they have in relating to one another are a result of the fact that they are just two totally different species, and the only way to bridge the gap is to study the culture, habits, and communication styles of the other and try to adapt the best you can.

There’s only one, small, potential problem with that approach. It may put some of us in a mindset that, when communicating with our partners, we should seek primarily to be understood rather than to understand. Or perhaps we resign ourselves to the idea that we will never truly understand or know our partner. It sets you up to think that your relationship is about developing the best offense or defense based on what you know about your opponent’s playing style. It’s more about protecting and less about connecting.  

Dan says that it’s more like men are from France, and women are from Spain. They do both speak different languages, but the words in each language come from the same root. (i.e. Latin.)    

That’s why Dan is working on a new book, What Men Would Tell You If They Weren’t Too Busy Watching TV with his good friend Dr. Allen Berger. Allen is back on the podcast this week to help explain the aim behind the book, and to give a few pointers on beginning a process of healthy struggle with your partner. Dan and Allen share tips on how to stay connected during the day-to-day ups and downs of your relationship, and how to allow your difference to make you stronger as individuals, and as a couple. You’ll also hear a preview of the 10 Man Rules Dan and Allen will cover in upcoming episodes – as well as in their forthcoming book.

We’d love to hear what you think about this episode, AND/OR to hear about your experiences with the Man Rule we’ll be covering next month. Please email [email protected] with your questions and comments. Or reach out on Facebook or Twitter.

Practical and Tactical

Tune in to The Man Rules podcast the third week of every month, to hear Dan and Allen break down the following Man Rules:

1. The Don’t Cry Rule
2. The Always Be in Control Rule
3. The Don’t Be Vulnerable or Weak Rule
4. The Success Rule
5. The Protector Rule
6. The Fight Rule
7. The Be Cool Rule
8. The Sex Rule
9. The Winning Rule
10. The Know It All Rule

Mentioned in This Episode

Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus – John Gray

Dr. Walter Kempler

I and Thou, Martin Buber

Alexythymia

The post What Men Would Tell You… About Women appeared first on Dan Griffin.