The post Practical & Tactical Tips: Sex Is A Crisis & An Opportunity (Episode 34) appeared first on Dan Griffin.
]]>Despite all the ways that sex continues to pervade our culture, research shows that the younger generations are having less actual, in-person sex than you might think. And those having sex might still feel like something’s missing.
This week, therapist and sex researcher Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D, joins host Dan Griffin to explore the ways that honesty, vulnerability, and a little bit of self-exploration can do more for your sex life than any app.
If you’re ready to get started, try these easy tips.
Practical & Tactical Tips
- Sit down with a piece of paper and ask yourself what you really like sexually. What’s true for you right now? What brings you pleasure? Don’t edit it and don’t judge it.
- Vulnerability is highly attractive when, paradoxically, it’s coming from a place of strength, meaning that you have a sense of certainty about who you are. That kind of vulnerability allows you to take the risk of being honest with yourself and honest with your partner(s), which in turn, helps you grow yourself up sexually in ways that are novel, exciting, and deeply fulfilling.
- Get clear about what you want in a relationship. As you start to move toward an intimate relationship with someone, pay attention to whether they are really present and receptive during sexual encounters, or if they are putting on an act. The keys to better sex and better relationships are awareness and appropriate action.
SUBSCRIBE on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcasting app. And please leave us a review, if you haven’t already!
About Our Guest
Alexandra Katehakis is the Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles and the author of Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction,Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatmentand co-author of the award-winning daily meditation book, Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence and contributing author of the award-winning clinical textbook Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts. Katehakis is a clinical supervisor at American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and clinical supervisor and member of the teaching faculty for the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP) a national certifying body for sex addiction therapists. She is a regular contributor to Psychology Today and The Huffington Post,as well as a prominent expert panelist at sexuality conferences and public events.
Mentioned In This Episode
Mirror of Intimacy, by Alexandra Katehakis
The post Practical & Tactical Tips: Sex Is A Crisis & An Opportunity (Episode 34) appeared first on Dan Griffin.
]]>The post Practical & Tactical Tips: Power, Porn, and Patriarchy (Episode 20) appeared first on Dan Griffin.
]]>But is that really a good thing?
Dan sat down with Dr. Robert Jensen this week to explore the implications of porn for individuals and our culture at large, especially considering its role in male-dominated power systems.
“There’s nothing wrong with human beings using our creative capacities to explore the complexity of life …” Dr. Jensen says, “but there’s a difference between using our artisit and creative capacities and pornography.”
“It might be … that our sexual explorations are better conducted with real-live people and not through this mass-mediated channel.”
If you’re ready to reexamine your relationship with porn, these practical and tactical tips are a great star.
Practical & Tactical Tips
- Instead of asking yourself what kind of man you want to be ask yourself what kind of human you want to be. Free yourself from worrying so much about what it means to be a man.
- If you’re using porn, ask yourself why. Is something missing in your life or in your intimate relationships? What are some ways you could find what you’re missing outside of pornography?
- Think about what gets you aroused. Is it connected in some way to ideas of male power? What does that mean?
Listen the full episode here:
[iframe style=”border:none” src=”//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/5628362/height/90/width/480/thumbnail/yes/render-playlist/no/theme/custom/tdest_id/515453/custom-color/#87A93A” height=”90″ width=”480″ scrolling=”no” allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen]Please SUBSCRIBE on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcasting app. And please leave us a review, if you haven’t already!
About Our Guest
Robert Jensen is a professor in the School of Journalism at the University of Texas at Austin and a board member of the Third Coast Activist Resource Center in Austin and the national group Culture Reframed. He is the author of The End of Patriarchy: Radical Feminism for Men (Spinifex Press, 2017). Jensen’s other books include Plain Radical: Living, Loving, and Learning to Leave the Planet Gracefully (Counterpoint/Soft Skull, 2015); Arguing for Our Lives: A User’s Guide to Constructive Dialogue (City Lights, 2013); All My Bones Shake: Seeking a Progressive Path to the Prophetic Voice, (Soft Skull Press, 2009); Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity (South End Press, 2007); The Heart of Whiteness: Confronting Race, Racism and White Privilege (City Lights, 2005); Citizens of the Empire: The Struggle to Claim Our Humanity (City Lights, 2004); and Writing Dissent: Taking Radical Ideas from the Margins to the Mainstream (Peter Lang, 2002). Jensen is also co-producer of the documentary film “Abe Osheroff: One Foot in the Grave, the Other Still Dancing” (Media Education Foundation, 2009), which chronicles the life and philosophy of the longtime radical activist. An extended interview Jensen conducted with Osheroff is online . Jensen can be reached at [email protected] and his articles can be found online at http://robertwjensen.org/.
Mentioned in this Episode
Getting Off: Pornography and The End of Masculinity
The End of Patriarchy: Radical Feminism for Men
The post Practical & Tactical Tips: Power, Porn, and Patriarchy (Episode 20) appeared first on Dan Griffin.
]]>The post You Cheated. Now What? – Episode 7 appeared first on Dan Griffin.
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If there’s one thing that Rob Weiss, MSW, knows for sure from his more than 25 years as therapist and sexologist, it’s that men don’t respond well to bullshit. That’s why his new book “Out of the Doghouse” takes care to help men understand what women go through emotionally when they’ve been cheated on without the usual shaming and finger-wagging.
Rob has spent much of his career counseling heterosexual couples torn apart by infidelity, and over and over again he’s seen men struggle to understand why their female partners just can’t “get over it” once they’ve apologized for cheating. In this episode of The Man Rules podcast, he and Dan talk about why men cheat, how they can regroup and reconnect with their partners when they feel the urge to cheat, and how they can truly heal their relationships with their partners if they have cheated.
They also touch on some of the pros and cons of porn, the ins and outs of internet dating, and the struggles many men have today with expressing their masculinity and sexuality in healthy ways.
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