American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson said that true success is “… to appreciate the beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better…”

Clearly, that guy never had two kids and a mortgage.

In this episode, Dan and Allen talk about the Man Rule that often drives many of men’s decisions about their work and personal lives–The Success Rule. Success for men is often defined by having a lot of money, having a prestigious job title, and having the most sex with the hottest women. Sadly, it can lead to men choosing careers they aren’t really interested in and choosing relationships based in status-seeking, rather than the desire for a real, intimate partnership.

Dan and Allen encourage men to take a look at their own definitions of success and to ask themselves if it’s really their own definition or one that they’ve just absorbed through The Water.

The post What Men Would Tell You…About Success appeared first on Dan Griffin.

Everyone looks forward to summer vacation! That is, until it’s actually time to go. That’s when the expectations you’ve had for the perfect, blissful family getaway meet reality. Unless you’re traveling solo to a remote, private tropical island and have no responsibilities or obligations to contend with at home–and if so, who are you and how do you do it?– you’re bound to run into some stress and disappointment before, during, and after your trip.

In this episode, Dan checks in from his current vacation to offer some tips on how to manage the inevitable rough patches and get the most from your trip. Learn how emotional baggage, family roles, and gender roles can all play a part in turning your dream vacation into a nightmare. Also, get some tips and reminders on how you can take care of yourself while traveling so that your trip has better chance of being memorable because of the all things that went right, rather than all the went wrong.

About Dan Griffin

The post Need a Vacation From Your Vacation? appeared first on Dan Griffin.

Hurray for the holidays, a time of joy and wonder! You wonder why you put yourself through this shit every year and feel joy when it’s finally over. BAH HUMBUG.

Okay–so maybe it’s not that cut and dried. What most of us feel during the holidays could most likely be described as ambivalence. There is, of course, the stress, and anxiety, and resentment and grief, but there is also the awe and the laughter and feeling of connectedness and purpose that many of us get from gift-giving, meal-preparing, and spending time with family.

In this episode of The Man Rules podcast, The Deep Dive guys talk about their personal holiday trials and triumphs and share advice on how to use this time of year to recharge and connect with what matters most.

Practical & Tactical Tips

If the holidays tend to leave you feeling less than jolly, try some of these tips…

1. Look For Ways to Help: Instead of focusing on how uncomfortable you feel, how people are judging you, how they are mistreating you, think about how you might be able to help others. Is there someone at the gathering who is likely just as uncomfortable, if not more so, than you? Do what you can to make them feel more comfortable. Basically, you just want to look for something to focus on other than your agony.

2. Stick to Your Self-Care Routine: It may not be possible to stick to your routine exactly, especially if you’re traveling or have guests at your house, but if you exercise every day, don’t stop doing that during the holidays. If you pray or meditate every day, don’t stop doing that during that holidays. We often feel obligated to spend every moment with family members during holiday gatherings, but you will enjoy your time with them much more if you don’t allow yourself to get worn down.

3. Maintain Your Boundaries. If you know that certain people, certain settings, and/or certain types of holiday gatherings cause a lot of angst and discomfort for you, try to switch it up. Instead of gathering at Grandma’s house for an all-day eating, drinking, and arguing marathon, suggest that you all go out to a restaurant. Everyone is more likely to be on their best behavior in public and you can leave after a couple of hours.

4. Write: If you’re feeling upset or disconnected one day during the holidays, just sit down and write about how you’re feeling without judgment. Are there any memories from childhood that come up for you along with the feelings? Write about that too!

5. Find a Moment of Solitude: Take some time each day to pray, meditate, or just sit quietly by yourself for a few minutes—Maybe early in the morning before anyone wakes up, or at night after everyone has gone to bed.

6.  Slow Down and Be Aware: If you pay attention, you can feel an irrational reaction coming on in your body. Slow down enough to be aware of when you’re starting to feel overwhelmed with irritation, resentment, or anger. and take a detour. Call a friend, take a walk, get some space, breathe. It may help you avoid doing or saying things you will regret later.

Mentioned in This Episode

Animal House
Loaded Questions Game
The Meadows
John Bradshaw
Claudia Black

The post Episode 44: Your Presence is a Present appeared first on Dan Griffin.