Happy New Year! And welcome to the annual tradition of making resolutions without much resolve. This year, though, could really be your year. Instead of relying on willpower to achieve your goals, rely on a framework for positive change, like our guest Darcy Luoma’s Thoughtfully Fit®.

Through her years of experience, Darcy has learned that if you want strong relationships, effective teams, more internal peace, and greater success you need to work from the inside out. She calls this being Thoughtfully Fit and just like physical fitness, you need to work at it. Being Thoughtfully Fit can help you lead yourself, as well as your relationships with others, by improving your ability to communicate, and effectively handle conflict by acting mindfully and intentionally. It’s a great model for developing the kind of conscious masculinity we always talk about on the show, and for becoming the man you want to be in 2018 and beyond.

Also, if you’ve ever wondered about the difference between a therapist and life coach, Darcy and Dan offer an explanation and some tips on how to decide whether you need therapy or coaching. (Or both!)

For more information about the Thoughtfully Fit framework, check out Darcy Luoma’s blog.

Practical and Tactical Tips

              The Thoughtfully Fit Framework           

1. PAUSE. When you feel that you are on verge of reacting to something, create some space between feeling and action. (e.g. Don’t just ram through and hit send on that response to your co-worker’s nasty email.)
2. THINK. Ask yourself some thoughtful questions about what you want the outcome to be.
3. ACT based on the desired outcome.

About Our Guest

Darcy Luoma helps individuals, business leaders and teams develop and execute action plans, navigate conflict successfully, unlock their leadership potential, improve communication skills, and bring clarity to chaos is so rewarding. By posing powerful questions, providing specific tools and techniques, encouraging creativity, and breaking large goals into manageable steps, her clients achieve tremendous success, including promotions, higher performance, exceeding goals, and successfully navigating job and life transitions.

She has helped hundreds of people achieve tremendous success – personally and professionally. You can contact her through her website, www.darcyluoma.com.

Mentioned In This Episode

Brene Brown

Angela Duckworth

Martin Luther

The post Episode 45: Go Coach Yourself! appeared first on Dan Griffin.

Jiu-Jitsu is a martial art that “promotes the concept that a smaller, weaker person can successfully defend themselves or another against a bigger, stronger, heavier assailant by using proper technique, leverage, and most notably, by taking the fight to the ground.” (Wikipedia)

As women–and some men–continue to come forward with accusations of sexual assault and sexual harassment against some of our nation’s most powerful men through the #metoo movement, we are all being forced to grapple with the painful reality of gender-based abuse and oppression–And sometimes it gets ugly. Why did this reckoning come, and why now? Is it really a reckoning or is it an overreaction?  And who’s really being treated most unfairly these days?

Dr. Jamie Marich, an emotional trauma expert, expressive arts counsellor, writer, and student of Jiu-Jitsu talks with Dan about how we can overcome the gender divide through sharing our experiences with one another, having open and honest conversations and actively listening.

She and Dan also share some useful insights on how women and men can work through anger and grief in ways that help them connect with one another, learn from one another, and help one another take the fight against gender discrimination to the ground.

Practical & Tactical

1. Form platonic friendships with members of the “opposite sex” and people across the gender spectrum. Building the kinds of solid, validating, relationships we may have lacked in our childhood and/or early adulthood helps us to grow.
2. Explore safe, thriving, and adaptive activities–like martial arts or support groups–where women can express their anger, and men can express their grief, and have it witnessed in a non-judgmental way.
3. Face-to-face conversations are a lot more productive than online battles. When you notice that you are having a visceral reaction to social media discussions or internet news reports, take it to your therapist or a trusted friend to discuss.

About Our Guest

Jamie Marich, Ph.D., LPCC-S, LICDC-CS, REAT, RMT travels internationally speaking on topics related to EMDR therapy, trauma, addiction, expressive arts and mindfulness while maintaining a private practice in her home base of Warren, OH. She is the developer of the Dancing Mindfulness practice (www.dancingmindfulness.com). Jamie is the author of EMDR Made Simple: 4 Approaches for Using EMDR with Every Client (2011), Trauma and the Twelve Steps: A Complete Guide for Recovery Enhancement (2012), and Trauma Made Simple: Competencies in Assessment, Treatment, and Working with Survivors. Her newest book, Dancing Mindfulness: A Creative Path to Healing and Transformation released in the Fall of 2015. She is currently working on her latest book (in collaboration with Dr. Stephen Dansiger) EMDR Therapy and Mindfulness for Trauma-Focused Care (due out with Springer Publishing in 2017).

Mentioned in This Episode

Dr. Jamie Marich’s website

The Institute for Creative Mindfulness

Dancing Mindfulness

Trauma Made Simple

“For Guys Reading #MeToo Testimonies,” Courtney Martin, OnBeing

“pro tip: louis fucking ck,” KatyKatiKate

The post Episode 41: Gender Jiu-Jitsu with Dr. Jamie Marich appeared first on Dan Griffin.