“The child is grown, the dream is gone. I have become comfortably numb.”
So many men could relate to that Pink Floyd lyric. Leading what Thoreau called “lives of quiet desperation,” so many of us stuff down our negative feelings day after day, until there’s not much room left in our hearts for joy.
It is only by feeling our feelings, embracing our humanity, and processing and releasing emotions like grief and sadness that we will ever find freedom.
But how can we begin that process when The Man Rules tell us that real men don’t talk about their feelings at all, let alone cry over them.
Practical & Tactical Tips
Bonus: Find a good men’s group, if you can. (Psychology Today’s Support Group directory is one good resource, where you can search by location.)
About Our Guest
Rick Belden is a respected explorer and chronicler of the psychology and inner lives of men. He has been writing for most of his life and has been using creative expression, dreamwork, personal mythology, and listening to the body as tools for self-healing since 1989.
His book, Iron Man Family Outing: Poems about Transition into a More Conscious Manhood, is widely used in the United States and internationally by therapists, counselors, and men’s groups as an aid in the exploration of masculine psychology and men’s issues, and as a resource for men who grew up in dysfunctional, abusive, or neglectful family systems.
Rick’s poetry and essays have appeared in multiple books and on numerous websites around the world, reaching an international audience of many thousands of men and women. He helps men who are feeling stuck get their lives moving again by drawing on over 25 years of experience exploring men’s issues, masculine psychology, and recovery from abuse.
He lives in Austin, Texas.
Mentioned In This Episode
Men’s Group Directory on Psychology Today
Essay: Men and Grief
Essay: What If He Cries?
Poem: tears never cried
Song: Comfortably Numb