These are THE MAN RULES®. Men can do this but can’t do that. We follow these Rules to let the world know that we are real boys and real men.
But who decides what that even means? And how do you know when you’re there? There is a lot of talk about Toxic Masculinity – and rightfully so. But what we talk about is Conscious Masculinity: each man has the right to CHOOSE the kind of man he wants to be, consciously, without having THE MAN RULES® control every decision.
There is a story of two fish swimming in the ocean when a third fish swims up to them and says, “Hello, gents. How’s the water?” and he swims away. The two fish look at each other and say, “What the hell is water?”
The Water is the reality in which we are constantly immersed and so often unaware. That is how THE MAN RULES® show up in so many of our lives.
Dont Be Weak
Don't show Emotion
Don't Ask For Help
Don't Care About Relationships
Does this sound familiar?
“Well, that’s just how men are!” So many of us have heard that phrase all of our lives, and a lot of the time it probably didn’t apply to us. So we thought the only thing that made sense at the time – I must not be much of a man. We know that so many men have this conversation going on inside of them: this idea that they aren’t real men. Whatever that even means. We are constantly striving to prove that voice wrong. But it is relentless. If you don’t stop and listen you’ll never hear it – it will just live inside of you, controlling you and your relationships.
And you’re never quite there. Ever. The line for being a man is constantly moving. And that ridiculous “Man Card” can ALWAYS be taken away. We call bullshit! There is no card. There is MANdate for who we have to be. It is all smoke and mirrors.
The truth is we don’t see it. We don’t see The Water. We often don’t see THE MAN RULES®. We often don’t hear the conversation deep inside of us. It is a conversation that is hidden from ourselves as much as anyone else. Because it is part of The Water. We are just in it. All of the time. And the Water runs very, very deep.
THE MAN RULES® are not good or bad. There are some wonderful aspects to THE MAN RULES® :
Be A Protector
Rigidly following the Rules is unhealthy because there is no freedom; there is no choice. The answer is simple: Choose the man you want to be! But first you have to see them!
Discover who you are despite the Rules, and you cannot help but become the man you were meant to be.