If you were a social anthropologist and you wanted to understand the norms and values of some ancient society, you’d likely take a look at their cultural artifacts. You’d closely examine their writings, paintings, sculptures, etc., to look for clues regarding how people within a certain culture were expected to behave and interact with the people around them.
1000 years from now, when anthropologists somehow get their hands on our TV shows, they’re going to learn a thing or two about how men were supposed to behave in our society if they wanted to be respected or admired: Save the day, always have a witty comeback handy, be aloof – or a doof – in your relationships, and get the girl. Any girl. Actually, all the girls. And only girls, of course. As many as possible (and pretty much all of them are possible because you are the guy no girl can— or should— resist.)
Hopefully, the writings of researcher and therapist Dr. Andrew Smiler will survive until that day, so that future scholarly types can get a fuller picture of our off-screen reality, which is that most men are not promiscuous, most men do value intimacy and relationships, and most men, in fact, are not “most men.” He and Dan share some concrete strategies on how to show up as the man you want to be, not necessarily the man advertised on TV.
About Our Guest
Andrew Smiler, PhD, is a licensed therapist and an expert on boys, men, and masculinity. Dr. Smiler holds a Masters in Clinical Psychology and a PhD in Developmental Psychology. He is the author of the award winning “Dating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Century Teen Boy,” as well as “Challenging Casanova: Beyond the stereotype of the promiscuous young male” and co-author of “The Masculine Self,” with renowned researcher Chris Kilmartin. Dr. Smiler is the Board President of Male Survivor: National Organization against Male Sexual Victimization and the Editor-in-Chief of Online Publications for the Society for Research on Adolescence. He has been featured in the New York Times and Chicago Tribune, and has written for the the Good Men Project, Huffington Post, Shriver Report, and Everyday Feminism.
Mentioned on The Show
Dating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Century Teen Boy by Andrew Smiler
“Sex guide for teen boys picks up where parents leave off” – Chicago Tribune
A Man’s Way Through Relationships by Dan Griffin