Socrates is believed to have said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  Most days, we navel-gazers over here examining our lives to death are inclined to agree. But, some days, we have to admit that the examined life, even in all its richness of purpose and meaning, can be f@#$ing exhausting. Of course, that assumes one is able to distinguish between self-obsession favorite pastime) and genuine self-awareness. Of course, that is a whole ‘nother podcast!

Nevertheless, our guest, Rick Belden, makes a pretty good case for the examined life, in spite of its drawbacks. He’s spent decades examining his upbringing, his behaviors, his masculinity, his triumphs and disappointments, his relationships and his very being as a poet, as an early client of the great John Lee, and as a member of many men’s groups and support systems. In this episode, one in our monthly Deep Dive series, he talks about the decisions that led him to where he is today, and why he thinks that taking that road less travelled by has made all the difference.

Examining a life, especially one that’s gone a bit off the rails and led us away from our true hopes and desires, requires an uncomfortable level of self-awareness. It’s not hard to understand why many would choose an unexamined life, preferring to escape into any and all of the distractions and diversions the material world has to offer. Still, we endorse it heartily as certainly better than the alternative. Just make sure you give yourself permission to watch reruns of Beavis and Butthead every once in awhile, too.

Note: If you liked this episode, you might also like Rick’s other appearances on this podcast:

When His Best Was Not Enough, on the father wound

If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Your Mother, on the mother wound

Uncomfortably Numb, on grief and loss

About Our Guest

Rick Belden is a respected explorer and chronicler of the psychology and inner lives of men. He has been writing for most of his life and has been using creative expression, dreamwork, personal mythology, and listening to the body as tools for self-healing since 1989.

His book, Iron Man Family Outing: Poems about Transition into a More Conscious Manhood, is widely used in the United States and internationally by therapists, counselors, and men’s groups as an aid in the exploration of masculine psychology and men’s issues, and as a resource for men who grew up in dysfunctional, abusive, or neglectful family systems.

Rick’s poetry and essays have appeared in multiple books and on numerous websites around the world, reaching an international audience of many thousands of men and women. He helps men who are feeling stuck get their lives moving again by drawing on over 25 years of experience exploring men’s issues, masculine psychology, and recovery from abuse.

He lives in Austin, Texas.

The post The Examined Life: Man Rules Deep Dive with Rick Belden appeared first on Dan Griffin.

Happy New Year! And welcome to the annual tradition of making resolutions without much resolve. This year, though, could really be your year. Instead of relying on willpower to achieve your goals, rely on a framework for positive change, like our guest Darcy Luoma’s Thoughtfully Fit®.

Through her years of experience, Darcy has learned that if you want strong relationships, effective teams, more internal peace, and greater success you need to work from the inside out. She calls this being Thoughtfully Fit and just like physical fitness, you need to work at it. Being Thoughtfully Fit can help you lead yourself, as well as your relationships with others, by improving your ability to communicate, and effectively handle conflict by acting mindfully and intentionally. It’s a great model for developing the kind of conscious masculinity we always talk about on the show, and for becoming the man you want to be in 2018 and beyond.

Also, if you’ve ever wondered about the difference between a therapist and life coach, Darcy and Dan offer an explanation and some tips on how to decide whether you need therapy or coaching. (Or both!)

For more information about the Thoughtfully Fit framework, check out Darcy Luoma’s blog.

Practical and Tactical Tips

              The Thoughtfully Fit Framework           

1. PAUSE. When you feel that you are on verge of reacting to something, create some space between feeling and action. (e.g. Don’t just ram through and hit send on that response to your co-worker’s nasty email.)
2. THINK. Ask yourself some thoughtful questions about what you want the outcome to be.
3. ACT based on the desired outcome.

About Our Guest

Darcy Luoma helps individuals, business leaders and teams develop and execute action plans, navigate conflict successfully, unlock their leadership potential, improve communication skills, and bring clarity to chaos is so rewarding. By posing powerful questions, providing specific tools and techniques, encouraging creativity, and breaking large goals into manageable steps, her clients achieve tremendous success, including promotions, higher performance, exceeding goals, and successfully navigating job and life transitions.

She has helped hundreds of people achieve tremendous success – personally and professionally. You can contact her through her website, www.darcyluoma.com.

Mentioned In This Episode

Brene Brown

Angela Duckworth

Martin Luther

The post Episode 45: Go Coach Yourself! appeared first on Dan Griffin.