Addiction is a family disease, and it takes its toll on everyone caught in its web. That might be even more true when it comes to children, who are forced to grow up in a home filled with volatility, fear, and the other trappings of the disease.
Many children of addiction turn to substances themselves to get through the pain, and still more see their lives forever altered in other devastating ways.
If you’ve been through it yourself, you know how an addicted family member can cast a shadow over your whole life.
But there is hope.
More than ever, resources targeting the family of people struggling with addiction offer a path out of the madness.
If you’re ready to begin the journey into the light yourself, check out this week’s episode of The Man Rules podcast, where host Dan Griffin and guest Dr. Tian Dayton explore the concept of emotional sobriety and addiction in families.
And in the meantime, these practical and tactical tips could be a great start.
Practical & Tactical Tips
- Go to a 12-Step program—whichever one is right for you—and stay in it past your judgments. Stay in it until you can really hear what people are saying and open your mouth to share what’s going on inside of you. Get your “soles” in the rooms.
- Get excited about figuring out who you are. When things go wrong, instead of getting scared or frozen, get curious and go wherever that leads you.
- Put love at the burning center of your life. Take a look around at what you have and appreciate it. It’s like watering a plant—you nourish what you look at with love and appreciation and that helps it to grow.
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About Our Guest
Tian Dayton, MA, Ph.D., T.E.P is the director of The New York Psychodrama Training Institute where she runs training groups in psychodrama, sociometry and experiential group therapy. She served as Caron’s director of program development for eight years and Breathe’s for four. She was also a professor at NYU for eight years teaching psychodrama and currently sits on the Scientific Advisory Board for the National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACoA). She is a fellow of the American Society of Psychodrama, Sociometry and Group Psychotherapy (ASGPP), and is the winner of their scholar’s award and the President’s award. She has served as Editor in Chief of the Journal of Psychodrama, Sociometry and Group Psychotherapy for ten years and as an executive editor for eight, she sits on the professional standards committee. She is also the winner of The Mona Mansell Award and The Ackermann Black Award for her contributions to the field of addiction.
Dr. Dayton has been a guest expert on NBC, CNN, MSNBC, Montel, Rikki Lake, John Walsh, and Geraldo. She is the author of fifteen books including, Neuropsychodrama in the Treatment of Relational Trauma, The ACoA Trauma Syndrome: How Childhood Trauma Impacts Adult Relationships, Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance, Trauma and Addiction: Ending the Cycle of Pain Through Emotional Literacy, Heartwounds : The Impact of Unresolved Trauma and Grief on Relationships, Forgiving and Moving On , The Living Stage: A Step by Step Guide to Psychodrama and Experiential Therapy, The Magic of Forgiveness. She is also a Huffington Post blogger and a Thrive Global blogger. Her films and videos include The Process, A 73 Minute award-winning docudrama that uses Psychodrama to tell stories of addicts; Adult Children of Alcoholics, Trauma and The Body: A Psychodramatic Approach and Healing Childhood Abuse through Psychodrama. She is also a certified Montessori teacher and a Senior Fellow at The Meadows. For more information about Dr. Dayton, visit www.tiandayton.com
Mentioned in this Episode
Emotional Sobriety, Book by Tian Dayton
ACoA Trauma Syndrome, Book by Tian Dayton
I’ll Quit Tomorrow, Book by Vernon Johnson
Eugene O’Neill – “The past becomes the present.”
Dr. Rob Anda (ACES Study)
THRIVE workshop at The Meadows
Survivors workshops at The Meadows
Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse (Family Roles)
Addiction and Recovery Resources
Reliable resources for learning more about addiction and finding help for yourself, a friend, or a family member.
General Information about Addiction
SAMHSA – Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Association
For People with Substance Addictions
For Families and Friends of People with Substance Addictions
SMART Recovery Family and Friends
Partnership for Drug-Free Kids
Network of Independent Interventionists
Association of Intervention Specialists
