Early sobriety can be lonely. Many people recovering from alcohol and other substance use disorders find that they have to change their entire social structure. And, that’s not something that happens overnight. It takes time to develop an entirely new…
How to Stay Sober AF
What to Do When You’re Sick of It
Listeners of The Man Rules podcast tend to be types who, in one way or another, want to live better. They want to free themselves from the limitations placed on them by society’s rules for how men should behave. They…
12 Stupid Things You Can Do to Mess Up The Holidays
Okay, you’ve requested your time off from the boss, booked the plane tickets, sent the cards, bought the presents, and baked the cookies –or completed any number of your traditional holiday tasks. So, you may think that you’re ready for…
Transformers
If you think about it, nearly every story we pay attention to is one about transformation. The main character in your favorite movie likely starts out in one state, something happens, and they end up in a different state by…
How to Get Over Yourself
In our monthly Deep Dive episode, Dan talks in depth with one man about how The Man Rules have impacted his life, and how he has worked toward a more conscious masculinity. This week Michael Dinneen manages to say a…
Scheduled Maintenance For Your Soul
This post is being brought to you from the great city of Indianapolis, where Producer Andrea lives. For those who are unfamiliar, the Indy 500 is a race where odd looking vehicles with really big tires whip around a circular…
What’s Left When It All Falls Away – Episode 51
For Jason MacKenzie, everything was going as planned. He had a great job, a beautiful wife, two kids, a nice house, and a nice car. So, how did he one day find himself, widowed, and drinking until he passed out…
Practical & Tactical Tips: Grow Up, Man! (Episode 32)
Living life in recovery can be challenging on even the best of days. (Of course, the hardest day sober is still better than the best day living under the thumb of addition.) But with the world more on edge than…
Episode 32: Grow Up, Man! Allen Berger on the 12 Tenets of Emotional Sobriety
Level 1 of recovery is the struggle to gain sobriety from the substance or behavior that has taken control of your life. Level 2 of recovery is the struggle to gain real emotional sobriety and balance by gaining humility in our…
Practical & Tactical Tips: The Gift of Desperation (Episode 31)
Addiction may be cunning, baffling, and powerful, but it is also possible. Amid all the onslaught of disturbing statistics about our country’s addiction epidemic, it can be easy to lose sight of the individual rays of hope that personal recovery stories…
Episode 31: The Deep Dive Guys on the Gift of Desperation
People in recovery speak a language that makes a lot of us uncomfortable. In a culture where we’re told repeatedly to put only our best foot forward and treat emotion like it’s an inconvenience that only serves to get in…
Episode 30: When Bad Diseases Happen to Good People
In the absence of an answer as to the true cause of the illness, we often invent one. (See Episode 27 with Dr. Kevin McCauley for more on this.) Throughout human history, people have sought to explain illnesses through an…
Practical & Tactical Tips: All In The Fam Damily (Episode 29)
Addiction is a family disease, and it takes its toll on everyone caught in its web. That might be even more true when it comes to children, who are forced to grow up in a home filled with volatility, fear,…
Practical & Tactical Tips: When You Need Help Getting Help (Episode 28)
This week, Google suddenly announced that they’d stopped running ads for treatment centers. The recovery world was rocked, but it was welcomed by many as a sign that Google had recognized that shady centers were gaming the system. Now, the…
Episode 29: All in the Fam Damily – Dr. Tian Dayton on Emotional Sobriety and Adult Children of Addicted Families
The day that a child raised in addiction finally becomes an adult and sets out into the world on their own, is the day they finally feel free. Free from the chaos and the pressure and the terror that comes…
Practical & Tactical Tips: Hey Addiction, WTF?! (Episode 27)
People recovering from addiction often like to say that the disease is “cunning, baffling, and powerful.” And although many aspects of addiction and recovery are debatable, we can all probably agree that it’s true. Humans have been suffering from and…
Episode 27: Hey, Addiction! WTF?
Addiction means that you can’t stop; but, some people eventually can. Addiction is a medical condition; but, it’s also a spiritual condition. Addiction is caused by societal and psychological factors and not by the drugs; but, sometimes it is caused…
Episode 25: I Learned It By Watching You – Dan on the Realities of Addiction & Recovery
Reality can be a real buzzkill. While it’s true that most people can drink alcohol, use prescription pain killers, and even experiment with recreational drugs without becoming addicted, it’s also true that one in seven people in the United States…
Standing on the Shoulders of Giants – Episode 6
John Lee has been at the forefront of the movement to help men with their health, psychological and spiritual well-being and recovery for decades. He has written 23 books on men’s issues, recovery, anger, grief, relationship, creativity, and spirituality. He…
Promise #8: Self Seeking will Slip Away
I have come to appreciate the depth of this particularly Promise. A picture that I love shows two scenes: one of Heaven and one of Hell. In Hell, everyone is seated at a table with grossly elongated spoons that they…
Promise #7: We Will Lose Interest in Selfish Things
Are men naturally self-centered? Sure. Are women? Yes, though they may express it differently. What does it even mean to be self-centered? Mostly, it seems to mean that we are human.
A Man’s Way Workshop
When I went to school to learn how to work with people with addictive disorders I got a lot of great guidance—Brain science. Family systems. Motivational Interviewing. Models of Change. Working with the criminal justice population. Working with women. Cultural…
Promise #7: We will lose interest in selfish things
Are men naturally self-centered? Sure. Are women? Yes, though they may express it differently. What does it even mean to be self-centered? Mostly, it seems to mean that we are human.
Promise #2: A New Freedom and A New Happiness
Promise #2: We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness As a result of recovery, I am free to live my life the way I see fit and I do not have to let others or society –even my recovery community – tell me what that…
Promise #1: If we are painstaking about this phase of our development
When we are painstaking, or careful and diligent in our attempt, it means that through the pain, disappointment, and suffering we experience in the crucible of our recovery, we do not give up. We have some faith that this is…
Manly Feelings
One of the great Man Rules™ is: Don’t feel. Of course, it is actually men aren’t allowed to feel anything other than anger. It is not manly to express the “softer” feelings. We learn it very early and often brutally and that…
We Don’t Crawl Before Anyone
Before we encounter the 9th Step Promises in the process of recovery, there is an important declaration: As God’s children we stand on our feet; we don’t crawl before anyone. I have always believed the Promises begin with this sentence. Why? Because in…
Men, Relationships, and Trauma
The role of trauma in men’s relationships is interesting – to say the least. What is so difficult about it is how hidden it can be. I have learned a lot about trauma in the past decade. Before then, despite…
The Promises of Recovery
One of the chapters of my book that did not make the “final cut” was on The Promises – these golden words of the twelve step community that serve as a beacon to so many coming through the rooms of…