There’s a lot of talk about anger and rage in the media these days. According to many, we live in an “outrage culture” and male anger is the cause of much domestic assault and gun violence. We’re also often reminded that social media has destroyed civility and turned us all into narrow-minded, passive-aggressive–and sometimes just plain aggressive— bullies.
What if we told you that one of the biggest problems with our society’s obsession with anger is its fundamental misunderstanding of what it even is?
While some of the alarmism around anger is justified, the reliance on extreme examples is giving us a distorted impression of what anger really is, how it can be expressed in ways that are healthy, and how it can help build connections rather than destroy them.
In this week’s episode, John Lee is back to talk about how has been trying to help people understand the differences between anger and rage for decades.
John lays out the differences between anger and rage, (i.e., anger is a feeling; rage is an action) and helps us understand the destructive behaviors associated with enrage and outrage. He and Dan also offer some suggestions for men who want to learn how to recognize when anger is moving them into an emotionally regressive state; a state where they’re reacting to past events rather than responding to present circumstances.
Check out this FREE download from John Anger Regression
Practical and Tactical Tips
- Take the time to reflect on the last time you felt angry. Did you express that angry appropriately or did you rage?
- Do you tend to be an outrager or an enrager?
OUTRAGER ENRAGER Slamming doors Sulking Throwing things Stuffing Cursing Seething Pushing Stewing Shoving Hitting - Which of these behaviors tend be your go-tos? Own it and seek to change it. Do some online research, read some books on anger and rage, and find a therapist or counselor.
“SOFT RAGE” PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE RAGE Shaming Sarcasm Blaming Jokes Demeaning Put-downs Demoralizing One-upmanship Criticizing Sabotage Preaching Control Teaching Manipulation Judging Lies Analyzing Gossip - Pay attention to where you feel anger in your body. When you feel that you are about to react in a way that is disproportional to the even, then go deal with it before you dump it on somebody else.
About Our Guest
John Lee is a pioneer in the fields of self-help, anger, co-dependency, creativity, recovery, relationships and men’s issues. In the mental health field, he is considered the therapist’s therapist and regularly trains and mentors therapists on how to work with clients and how to work on themselves. He has taught his techniques and theories to thousands of individuals, couples, families, groups, corporations, and therapists all over the world.
Mentioned in This Episode
Growing Yourself Back Up (Book)
The Anger Solution (Book)
