If you want to change old patterns of thought and behavior—like choosing more consciously how The Man Rules fit into your life—you’re going to need to broaden your perspective and gain some personal insight. There’s no better way to do that than reading. I know, I know… No one has time for that these days. Not in a world of smart phones and Netflix. But, if you’re serious about developing a practice that will lead you toward a more conscious masculinity, I strongly encourage to add reading to your repertoire–even if it’s only a page or two a day.
Each month I’ll be sharing three books that have helped me along the way…here are the books for the Month of May, our special 1 year anniversary celebration list. If you or someone you know struggles with depression or anger issues or overall relationship challenges (uh, who wouldn’t be in that camp?) then check out these books.
Depression is a very insidious disease. For the longest time it was really thought to be an issue mostly for women. Men didn’t even come forward about it. Even those men who did find themselves getting help didn’t get the right help because the majority of the therapists and “helpers” didn’t understand what male depression looks like. Until Terry wrote this groundbreaking book. With men’s suicide rates at all-time high, the increasing pressure for men to be relational and connect, and our even increasing focus on mental health, in general, in this country male depression is not going away. It continues to be missed by men, their loved ones, and professionals working with men and couples. If you have questions about depression, are concerned about yourself or a loved one, check out this book and get a better understanding of what depression can look like in men and the best ways to treat it.
If you are familiar with my work then you have probably heard me talk about the anger funnel. The idea that men learn to take all of the feelings that are not okay to share or even experience – fear, sadness, insecurity, shame, hurt, etc – and place in a funnel where they come out as some form of anger. Understanding what feelings are underneath the anger is an essential part of men’s healing and building true intimacy in any relationship. But what is the difference between anger and rage? Is anger really the issue?
If you struggle with anger in any way – and chances are it may be more rage that you struggle with – this book and all of John Lee’s work could be very helpful. As someone who has been brought to his knees many times over the years by rage, trauma, and shame I am learning the power of having a healthy relationship to anger. If anyone has ever given you feedback about being angry, mean, or an asshole check out this book and John’s work.
I love Allen and his work. He has a wonderful way of communicating complicated ideas. There are a lot of books out there on relationships and intimacy and how to improve them. A lot of them are crap, if you ask me. This is a really good one but I am biased. Read it for yourself and see what you think.
Do you have some favorite books that have changed the way you think about men and relationships? Email your recommendations to [email protected] or tweet it @authordgriffin or reach out on Facebook.