Dan GriffinDan Griffin
  • Home
  • About Dan
  • Contact

Episode 39: Rollin’ with No Homies

November 20, 2017Dan GriffinThe Man Rules Podcast
Lonely man in the desert

Photo by MontyLov on Unsplash

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just have to find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley

When’s the last time you talked to another man about something that was going on in your life and how you were feeling about it? Something besides sports, business, or cars—Go ahead. Think about it. We’ll wait. If you’re like a lot of men (ages 25 to whatever), it’s a been a while. Loneliness and isolation is an epidemic in the western world in general, but especially among men. When men open up about the reasons they live in isolation, you often find that it is a fear of closeness and a fear of being hurt that keeps men from reaching out. “Keep people at a safe distance” is definitely a big Man Rule.

Suicide among men is at an all-time high. Something is killing men–and it’s called loneliness. Not the ABC afterschool special kind of loneliness, but the visceral loneliness of feeling completely separate and unable to share your true self and life struggles openly and honestly with anyone.

The Man Rules are pretty specific about what not to do when trying to befriend other men. Not only are many of those rules rooted in homophobia, but they also often prevent men from going beyond small talk and fart jokes in order to develop deeper, more intimate connections. (Not that there’s anything wrong with fart jokes, of course.)

In another candid and vulnerable episode, the Deep Dive Guys–Dan, Michael Dinneen, and Cody Gardner–are back to talk about their own struggles in maintaining friendships and to share strategies for developing strong and supportive connections with other men.

Practical & Tactical

  1. Call somebody in your circle of friends every day to talk about what’s going on your life, and to listen–really listen–to what’s going on in theirs.
  2. Be intentional about scheduling time to spend with your friends. Try setting aside a full day every month, if possible, just for “friend time.”
  3. Think about the kind of friends you want to have. Focus on becoming that kind of friend for others.

Mentioned in this episode:

The biggest threat facing middle -age men isn’t smoking or obesity. It’s loneliness. (Boston Globe)

Dr. Sue Johnson

The Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks

Rollin’ with my Homies, Coolio

Tags: friendships, loneliness, men, mental health, relationships
Dan Griffin
Previous post Episode 38: Beyond Boobs, Babes, and Bloodsports with Connor Beaton Next post Episode 40: The Polarity Express

Related Articles

Episode 33: It Ain’t Just About Getting Laid

October 9, 2017Dan Griffin

Muddy Waters – Episode 56

March 26, 2018Dan Griffin

Manly Feelings

April 28, 2015Dan Griffin

Recent Posts

  • That’s All Folks.
  • What Men Would Tell You… About Having All The Answers
  • Childhood Heroes and Personal Mythologies
  • Coping with Changing Gender Expectations
  • All Good Things Must Come to An End
  • How to Stay Sober AF
  • What Men Would Tell You… About Winning
  • Leggo my Ego
  • Support the Podcast
  • Loving Like You Mean It

Privacy

Privacy Policy

Dan Griffin

424-254-9946

[email protected]

GRE, Los Angeles, CA

Speaker

Author

A Mans Way® Consulting

Resources

Privacy

The Man Rules Podcast

The Man Rules

What Men Would Tell You

All Dads Matter

A Mans Way® School

 

© 2021 Dan Griffin - A Man's Way