The first phase in bringing about positive change is raising awareness. (In other words, the first step is recognizing and admitting that there is a problem.) So, this month, and every month, we’re bringing your awareness to articles, studies, and podcasts that shine a light on the unique struggles men face in today’s society.
Unfortunately, the phrase “self-care” has been reduced to little more than an advertising buzzword. It’s used over and over to try to sell spa packages, candles, and Yoga classes to women. This week, Popular Science magazine reminds us that self-care is about more than manicures and expensive vacations. AND, that it’s not just for wealthy white women…
We love “Thanks for Sharing” podcast hosts Jackie P. and Jon T. Whether you’re a person in recovery or just a person struggling to carry your own emotional baggage (i.e. everyone), each time you listen to their podcast you walk away feeling less alone. And, they are definitely woke— as the kids say these days— to The Man Rules. (Not to brag or anything, but they did even have Dan on as a guest once…)
In this episode, they aim their compassion and understanding toward male partners of sex addicts. Note: This means that women can be sex addicts— Shocker!
They point out all the ways in which The Man Rules discourage men from seeking support for the often devastating experience of being cheated on by a spouse or partner. Although the discussion focuses specifically on men with female partners who identify as sex addicts, the same principles can apply to any man who has experienced the pain of learning that the person he loves has been unfaithful.
“But as any Freudian will tell you trauma is stronger than any mask; it can’t be buried and it can’t be killed. It’s the revenant that won’t stop, the ghost that’s always coming for you.”
Every attempt we’ve made to write a summary of best-selling author Junot Díaz’s devastating yet inspiring essay has failed miserably to capture its power and significance. So, please, just go read it, let it sink into your bones, and it let spur you into action on behalf of male survivors of childhood trauma.
But we want to be very clear: you can heal from trauma. The ghosts haunting you can be tamed. The narrative of your life can be rewritten. We have to tell the stories so the voiceless have a voice and The Man Rules have less of a stranglehold on the hearts of men. We honor Mr. Diaz for his courage.