When we are painstaking, or careful and diligent in our attempt, it means that through the pain, disappointment, and suffering we experience in the crucible of our recovery, we do not give up. We have some faith that this is not wasted effort – there is a higher purpose to which we are dedicating our efforts. We pick up the phone instead of dancing one more time on the edge with the addiction that was destroying our lives. We ask for help instead of isolating ourselves or pretending we are not in pain. We tell on ourselves to our sponsor or in a meeting, even if it means our voice is shaking and our heart is ready to jump out of our chest. Regardless of how much sobriety we have we tell the truth about ourselves and risk being known. We do this because we have already been amazed. We know that we have been offered a way out that we, alone, could never have found. And cannot keep if we do not give it away. We know that this pain – the pain of redemption and repairing our wounds and the wounds of others got in the middle of our affair with self-destruction – has a purpose.
The Promises are not static they live in the present moment. Whatever phase of growth and development we are in – and if we are painstaking about our efforts – we will be amazed before we are halfway through. There is when we are halfway through with our amends but it does not end there. There is no clear marker telling us when we are halfway but if you believe, as I believe, that the Promises apply to Life then “the halfway point” is constantly moving.
As we set out upon the path and trudge our way to happy destiny, we will be amazed at the vision of the mountaintop from miles away. We rest and take in the beauty of this glorious site of God’s creation. And then, we return to the stony path and continue to trudge, knowing that, as breathtaking as the sight is, it is the journey itself which is the greatest reward. It doesn’t even matter if we make it there. Perhaps, it is another mountain to which we are headed. It simply doesn’t matter because it is the amazement that moves us forward and our ability to drink deeply from the marrow of the present moment. Nothing else matters. Nothing else is necessary. In fact, nothing else is. All we have is Now. It is all amazing if we just pay attention.
