Welp. Here we are. The final episode of The Man Rules podcast. Dan and Andrea (the show’s producer) take the opportunity to reminisce, reflect, and ruminate on what might be next… Sometimes, abundance comes from letting go. You’ve gotta make…
That’s All Folks.
What Men Would Tell You… About Having All The Answers
There’s no tenure for manhood. The false promise of The Man Rules is that if you follow them closely enough, for long enough, you will soon rest easy in your identity as a man. But, the truth is, a man’s…
Childhood Heroes and Personal Mythologies
All stories we relate to are based either on our wishes or on our fears. Sometimes–or maybe even often–both. That’s what makes this week’s episode with friend of the show Rick Belden such a powerful one. Rick leads Dan through…
Coping with Changing Gender Expectations
This week, friend of the show Dr. Michael Levittan is back to help us sort through the many changes in our expectations of men and women over the years, and how psychology and psychotherapy have played a role in helping…
All Good Things Must Come to An End
After more than two years of operation, we have made the difficult decision to end production of The Man Rules podcast. So, this week Dan’s solo episode–his last solo episode–is about what it means to embrace change. One thing we…
How to Stay Sober AF
Early sobriety can be lonely. Many people recovering from alcohol and other substance use disorders find that they have to change their entire social structure. And, that’s not something that happens overnight. It takes time to develop an entirely new…
What Men Would Tell You… About Winning
“If you’re not first, you’re last.” That’s the mantra of Ricky Bobby, a champion NASCAR driver (played by Will Ferrell) in the cinematic masterpiece, Talledega Nights. The great thing about that quote, and about the movie, is that it gently…
Support the Podcast
This week, Dan’s back with an update on our makeshift pledge drive. We hear from Noah, a longtime listener who has pledged his support, and Dan makes a case for you all to be like Noah. (If you can.) Would…
Sugar Addiction and Compulsive Overeating
When we think about addiction and recovery, we tend to think specifically about drugs–both recreational and prescription– including alcohol. But, some people struggle with other substances and behaviors that we don’t often talk about when we talk about addiction–things like…
What is Love?
Is love a feeling or an action? Is it a choice we make, or is the result of a magical bond with another person that is impossible to explain? Do you decide to be a loving person, or are you…
What Men Would Tell You…About Sex
“If it’s true that men want sex 24/7, what does it mean if he won’t have sex with me?” “Why won’t he engage in foreplay before sex or cuddling after? There’s no affection or intimacy.” “Why is sex only about…
Doing The Work with Byron Katie
Look around your local gym long enough, and you’re likely to see the phrase “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional,” emblazoned on a bumper sticker, a T-shirt, or a bicep in the form of a tattoo. It’s one thing to…
Let’s Talk About Sex
Our culture is weird about sex. We’re surrounded by allusions to it constantly–in our advertisements, TV shows, movies, music, websites–but it’s rare for any of those mediums to address it in a way that isn’t salacious or jokey. It’s rare…
A Deep Dive with a Stay-at-Home Dad
Men’s experiences as fathers are more varied than popular culture would have you believe. Although the doors are beginning to open a little wider for men who want to take on duties that were traditionally only part of Mom’s domain,…
What Men Would Tell You… About Their Fathers
When we become fathers, so many of our choices are reactions to how our fathers raised us. We often either fall in line with his expectations, or rebel against them. Either way, we aren’t really making our own choices, based…
Gay Men and Their Fathers
In honor of both Father’s Month and Pride Month, we’re replaying this episode from 2018, featuring the late Tim Clausen. Tim interviewed more than 80 men for his book Not the Son He Expected: Gay Men Talk Candidly About Their…
Fathers Failing Forward
It’s not easy being a dad–at least not all the time. There were no manuals. No instruction. No classes. Not really. And so, as Dan says all the time, we do it imperfectly. We try to parent consciously, but we…
Doing It, Consciously
When you have sex (or masturbate) do you have a goal in mind? Do you approach each sexual encounter with an unconscious strategy toward the endgame? (C’MON OF COURSE YOU DO.) Cam Fraser, a certified sexologist, Yoga teacher, and pioneer…
What Men Would Tell You…About Being Cool
Being “cool” is ultimately about fitting in. And, unfortunately, one of the requirements of fitting in for most men–whether their definition of “cool” leans more toward the Jock table or the Dungeons ‘n Dragons table–is pretending that you have no…
The Unspoken Legacy of Emotional Trauma
It was a true honor to have Claudia Black, a pioneer in the study of the impact alcoholism has on families, join us on The Man Rules podcast. Claudia has dedicated her life to looking at the impact of trauma…
What to Do When You’re Sick of It
Listeners of The Man Rules podcast tend to be types who, in one way or another, want to live better. They want to free themselves from the limitations placed on them by society’s rules for how men should behave. They…
Daddy Download: Awesome Dads Know Their Story
Everyone told you being a Dad would be hard, right? Many probably even said, “Nothing can prepare you…” And, man, they were so right. There’s nothing we can tell you to make the transition to being a new Dad a…
What is Sex For?
What is sex for? Have you ever asked yourself that question? You may think, “procreation, of course” but that doesn’t explain why people who don’t want kids have sex. If you say, “fun and pleasure,” that doesn’t explain why, for…
What Men Would Tell You… About Fighting
As a kid, you probably wanted to be cool. And if you were a boy, being cool meant being tough. Being tough meant being able to fight and win. If you weren’t tough, you immediately felt inadequate. You weren’t…
Money Matters: Talking Finance with Marty McAlpin
Money. Everybody wants it; nobody wants to talk about it. Except Dan, of course, and his friend and financial advisor Marty McAlpin. In this episode, they give an overview of various money disorders and help us increase our financial vocabulary….
Why Men Fight
If you’re a man, chances are, at some point when you were a boy, a man in your family made a conscious effort to teach you how to properly throw a punch. That was a skill you would need as…
Daddy Download: The New Rules for Dads
The rules have changed for being a Dad. There’s a lot of pressure these days for men to be more emotionally involved in parenting than their Dads were. But without role models, guidance and support for making these radical changes,…
Men and Mortality
One of the most frequently mentioned Man Rules is “don’t be weak.” As a result, many men end up feeling ashamed when they become ill or injured. “Don’t be weak” may also be at the heart of a man’s resistance…
What Men Would Tell You… About Being a Protector
Once a month, Dan and Dr. Allen Berger sit down to talk about a chapter from their forthcoming book, What Men Would Tell You…If We Weren’t Too Busy Watching TV. The title of the book is meant to be humorous,…
Keep It Clean
Once Tidying up with Marie Kondo hit Netflix this past January, it seemed like everyone was suddenly talking about the real impact of household upkeep on our minds, bodies, and spirits. Of course, conversations about the division of household labor…
How’s The Water?
All too often men are tossed into The Water and told to sink or swim. For any struggle we face, we’re often given some version of the same, age-old advice: “Man Up.” (What the hell does that even mean? Especially…
Why Aren’t I Happy? Men and Depression
Men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women, and their depression is more likely to manifest as anger and violence. As this week’s guest, Terry Real, puts it men either feel that they are failing the…
Not as Seen on TV
This episode is a replay of one we first posted in back in 2017. Gillette’s recent “Toxic Masculinity” ad recently brought ideas about the ways in which men are portrayed in popular media to the mainstream. Dr. Andrew Smiler has…
Get it Together, Man
As we near the end of January, we often also near the end or our resolve to finally get our shit together this year. We made our resolutions because we know that the feeling of being perpetually disorganized and out…
Daddy Download: Because I Said So
To parent is to spend most days in a state of barely-concealed, barely-contained insecurity, if not outright terror! Our little loves trigger not only our fears for them–will they be happy, successful, productive members of society?–but also our deepest fears…
In Like a Lamb, Out Like a Lion
The Man Rules Podcast has been blessed to have our producer, Andrea Sauceda, since we began in May 2017. We are a small podcast with very little budget and she has given her time graciously and generously. She is taking…
Episode 45: Go Coach Yourself!
Happy New Year! And welcome to the annual tradition of making resolutions without much resolve. This year, though, could really be your year. Instead of relying on willpower to achieve your goals, rely on a framework for positive change, like…