It’s not easy being a dad–at least not all the time. There were no manuals. No instruction. No classes. Not really. And so, as Dan says all the time, we do it imperfectly. We try to parent consciously, but we…
Fathers Failing Forward
Doing It, Consciously
When you have sex (or masturbate) do you have a goal in mind? Do you approach each sexual encounter with an unconscious strategy toward the endgame? (C’MON OF COURSE YOU DO.) Cam Fraser, a certified sexologist, Yoga teacher, and pioneer…
What Men Would Tell You…About Being Cool
Being “cool” is ultimately about fitting in. And, unfortunately, one of the requirements of fitting in for most men–whether their definition of “cool” leans more toward the Jock table or the Dungeons ‘n Dragons table–is pretending that you have no…
The Unspoken Legacy of Emotional Trauma
It was a true honor to have Claudia Black, a pioneer in the study of the impact alcoholism has on families, join us on The Man Rules podcast. Claudia has dedicated her life to looking at the impact of trauma…
What to Do When You’re Sick of It
Listeners of The Man Rules podcast tend to be types who, in one way or another, want to live better. They want to free themselves from the limitations placed on them by society’s rules for how men should behave. They…
Daddy Download: Awesome Dads Know Their Story
Everyone told you being a Dad would be hard, right? Many probably even said, “Nothing can prepare you…” And, man, they were so right. There’s nothing we can tell you to make the transition to being a new Dad a…
Waking Up: A Deep Dive with Chris Cole
In The Man Rules Deep Dive episodes, Dan talks to one man about his particular experiences coming to terms with some facet of his identity as a man. This month, our Deep Dive guest is Chris Cole, author, life coach,…
What Men Would Tell You… If They Weren’t Too Busy Watching TV
Everyone is interested in how men and women can get along these days. The model Allen and Dan offer is different. No more “we’re from different planets.” As our regular listeners know, Dan is working on a new book, What…
Daddy Download – What About Me?
Everyone told you being a Dad would be hard, right? Many probably even said, “Nothing can prepare you…” And, man, they were so right. There’s nothing we can tell you to make the transition to being a new Dad a…
A Tribute to Tim Clausen
Tim Clausen, author, jazz musician, and friend of The Man Rules podcast, passed away on July 29. Tim was on a mission to help men—especially gay men—find their voices, find peace, and find love in all of its many forms….
I Love You…Man
It’s rarely easy for any of us to say “I love you” for the first time. But, this can be especially true when one straight guy loves another straight guy. Of course, those times are changing. Especially thanks to your…
What Men Would Tell You… About Women
It’s been said that men are women are from totally different planets. All of the struggles they have in relating to one another are a result of the fact that they are just two totally different species, and the only…
Men After #MeToo
Change is hard. And, as men, we’re being asked to do a lot of it lately. The good news? We’re prepared for it. We’ve been preparing all of our lives for it. We just didn’t know. When we were growing…
Daddy Download – Don’t Get Mad, Get Glad
Everyone told you being a Dad would be hard, right? Many probably even said, “Nothing can prepare you…” And, man, they were so right. There’s nothing we can tell you to make the transition to being a new Dad a…
Need a Vacation From Your Vacation?
Everyone looks forward to summer vacation! That is, until it’s actually time to go. That’s when the expectations you’ve had for the perfect, blissful family getaway meet reality. Unless you’re traveling solo to a remote, private tropical island and have…
Not the Son He Expected: Deep Dive with Tim Clausen
The stories we tell about our Dads can shape the way we feel about ourselves and about the world. If your father was distant or critical, you may struggle with the idea that you’re not “man enough.” You may…
More Than a Moustache
The Movember Foundation is a multinational charity that aims to raise awareness of and money for men’s health. They address some of the biggest health issues faced by men: prostate cancer, testicular cancer, and mental health and suicide prevention. And…
Daddy Download: 3 Co-Parenting Tips for New Dads
Everyone told you being a Dad would be hard, right? Many probably even said, “Nothing can prepare you…” And, man, they were so right. There’s nothing we can tell you to make the transition to being a new Dad a smooth…
Good Grief, Dad
In this monthly What Men Would Tell You…If They Weren’t Too Busy Watching TV episode with Allen Berger, the two talk about Dads in honor of Father’s Month on the Man Rules Podcast. Specifically, the ways in which many men…
Dear Dad: Write a Letter to Transform Your Relationship With Your Father
You have issues with your Dad. Whether you have a great, not-so-great, contentious, or non-existent relationship with him, there are bound to be some pain points that you’ve never talked to him or anyone else about. That’s why this…
The Good Man vs. The Real Man
If you were asked what it means to be a good man, what would you say? What if you were asked what it means to be a real man? The contradictions between the answers to those two questions drive much…
The Examined Life: Man Rules Deep Dive with Rick Belden
Socrates is believed to have said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Most days, we navel-gazers over here examining our lives to death are inclined to agree. But, some days, we have to admit that the examined life, even in…
What Men Would Tell You… About What They’re Thinking
Dr. Allen Berger is back to help Dan introduce an exciting new monthly project for The Man Rules podcast! Dan and Allen are working on a book called What Men Would Tell You… If They Weren’t Too Busy Watching TV….
All the Rage: How Men Can Transform Anger
There’s a lot of talk about anger and rage in the media these days. According to many, we live in an “outrage culture” and male anger is the cause of much domestic assault and gun violence. We’re also often reminded…
Why Aren’t I Happy? Men and Depression
Men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women, and their depression is more likely to manifest as anger and violence. As this week’s guest, Terry Real, puts it men either feel that they are failing the…
It’s the First Anniversary of The Man Rules Podcast!
When we started The Man Rules podcast one year ago, we had no idea what we were doing. We knew that we wanted to offer a self-improvement resource for men that went way beyond the whole, “how to get laid,…
Breaking the Ruhls (and The Rules)
The Man Rules do not prepare men to navigate the rocky emotional terrain of their day-to-day lives. So, what happens when childhood sexual abuse and emotional abuse make that terrain much, much rockier than average? In most cases, it leads…
Turn Your Fears Into Actions – Episode 59
Jess Pettitt is, among other things, a diversity educator. Did you just roll your eyes at that? Did you shudder at the memory of a terrible corporate diversity training you we forced to attend in the past? Did you recall…
How to Reconnect After a Fight
Any relationship worth its salt—whether it’s with a partner, spouse, co-worker, friend, or child—is well-seasoned with conflict. “We never fight” is really just code for “We are never honest with one another.” So, don’t measure your success in a relationship…
Truth and Consequences – Episode 55
The truth—as both Dan and his guest Dr. Michael Levittan see it—is that the ways we raise boys and girls to relate to one another is dysfunctional at best, personally damaging and emotionally debilitating at worst. The consequences of this…
Can You Change the Past? – Episode 54
What kind of man do you want to be? And, what’s keeping you from being that man? Chances are, one of the things getting in that way is unresolved pain from the past. “Ah, horse shit!” you say. “I can’t…
When Your Dream Is Not Your Dream – Episode 53
As men, we often define ourselves by degrees of career success. It’s not enough to produce good work–you have to produce the best work. It’s not enough to provide a modest, but comfortable living for yourself and/or your family–you have to provide…
Tune Out to Tune In – Episode 52
Visit the children’s clothing aisles in your favorite department store, and you’ll quickly see how deeply obsessed we are with gender dichotomies. You can be either masculine or feminine, dolls or trucks, pink or blue. You can either be tough…
What’s Left When It All Falls Away – Episode 51
For Jason MacKenzie, everything was going as planned. He had a great job, a beautiful wife, two kids, a nice house, and a nice car. So, how did he one day find himself, widowed, and drinking until he passed out…